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Bacteria Song Lyrics
 

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By Jonathan Coulton

Sampled from a Kentucky Fried Chicken Training Video

 

Bacteria, bacteria.
Look, there’s bacteria!
Bacteria, bacteria.
You might not see them, but they’re there.
Bacteria, bacteria.
Everything you touch.
Bacteria, bacteria.
That’s right—salmonella bacteria.

But we have to watch out for bacteria
that can spoil our chicken.
Bacteria practically everywhere,
Everywhere you look:

In the kitchen
Inside the cooler
In the dining area
In the restrooms
On our raw chicken!

 And like I said,
Bacteria, bacteria.
Look, there’s bacteria!
Bacteria, bacteria.
You might not see them, but they’re there.
Bacteria, bacteria.
Everything you touch.
Bacteria, bacteria.
That’s right—salmonella bacteria. 

Salmonella grows on raw chicken,
Especially old chicken.
Moist foods like our salad.
Staph bacteria on the left,
And strep bacteria on the right.
Salmonella,
Shigella,
Clostridium, refringent. 

If you didn’t wash your hands,
They would become breeding grounds for
Bacteria, bacteria.
Look, there’s bacteria!
Bacteria, bacteria.
You might not see them, but they’re there.
Bacteria, bacteria.
Everything you touch.
Bacteria, bacteria.
That’s right—salmonella bacteria.

 Fever
Cramps and fever
Dysentery
Fever
Fe-fe-fe-fever
Vomiting, vomiting
Chills
Cramps
Chills and
Chills and cramps
One square inch,
Half a billion salmonella bacteria.

These bacteria really sound serious!
They are when they’re left unchecked.
And it could mean a trip to the hospital,
For someone:

Our customers—WOW!
Ourselves—alright
Our chicken—alright
And our reputation—alright, alright.

You mean there’s bacteria on me right now?
Clean, clean, and then clean again.

Bacteria, bacteria.
Look, there’s bacteria!
Bacteria, bacteria.
You might not see them, but they’re there.
Bacteria, bacteria.
Everything you touch.
Bacteria, bacteria.
That’s right—salmonella bacteria.
Salmonella bacteria.
Salmonella bacteria.

 

 

Last Updated January 8, 2007.